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10 Michael Scott Lines That Only He Could Say

Michael Scott holding up his worlds best boss mug

1. “You don’t call retarded people retards. It’s bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded and I consider Oscar a friend.”

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2. “You were nothing but great to your hoe and you told her that she was the only hoe for you, that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly…she’s not yo’ hoe no mo’.”

Credit: NBC/The Office

3. “Why do I like Hooters? Well, I will give you two reasons: the boobs and the hot wings.”

Credit: NBC/The Office

4. “Hey Pam? All that stuff with Kevin… pretty scary. I’m thinking next time you’re in the shower, you should check yourself out, you know, give yourself an exam. Those things are like ticking time-bags.”

Credit: NBC/The Office

5. “The only thing I’m worried about is getting a boner”

Credit: NBC/The Office

6. “If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.”

Credit: NBC/The Office

7. “You don’t know me, you’ve just seen my penis.”

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8. “Learn how to take off a woman’s bra: You just twist your hand until something breaks.”

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9. “The diabetes award goes to Stanley Hudson. Come on up here, you sick bastard”

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10. “My Indian culture seminar was going great, until Toby decided that he was too immature to deal with culturally explicit images. It’s just sex, people! Everybody does it! I’m doing it with Carol…probably tonight!”

Credit: NBC/The Office